Whether it’s creepy crawlies that stop you in your tracks or the thought of getting on a plane preventing you from reaching that dream destination, Christopher Paul Jones, author of Face your Fears, has the following advice to help.
“There are some phobias that are easier to understand, such as spiders (arachnophobia) and snakes (ophidiophobia). However, some are harder to get your head around, from masks and costumes (maskaphobia) to vegetables (lachanophobia). For sufferers, phobias can be debilitating, putting strain on relationships, limiting social activities and generally casting a shadow over daily routines. The reasons behind the development of phobias are numerous. With snakes, evolution has likely hardwired us to avoid them. Spiders tend to stimulate feelings of disgust and repulsion, which trigger a fear response. Witnessing others’ fear of cats can lead us to develop a phobia ourselves. For some people, especially children, somebody wearing a mask where they have a fixed, unchanging expression can lead to a fear they can’t control. Happily, most phobias can be addressed; in the majority of cases, they can be removed completely. Here is a brief look at a seven-stage process I call the Integrated Change System.”
Recognise what you’re really afraid of
Identifying not just the surface-level fear (dogs, spiders, flying) but also the deeper fears it represents is crucial. Is it a fear of harm, a loss of control, a past traumatic event or something else?
Relax the conscious mind
Achieving a state of relaxation allows us to work with fears more effectively. The “4-7-8 Breathing Technique” involves inhaling quietly through the nose for four seconds, holding the breath for seven seconds, and exhaling forcefully through the mouth for eight seconds. Repeated three to four times, this acts as a natural tranquilliser for the nervous system.
Reward for your fear
Phobias can serve hidden purposes — a secondary gain. One way to find this is to ask: “Does this fear keep me safe from situations I feel are dangerous?”, “Do I receive comfort or attention because of this fear?” or “What might I lose if this fear were to disappear now?”
Alter the internal representation of that fear
Everything we do, including phobias, operates according to a subconscious ‘recipe’ — a combination of thoughts, behaviours, and feelings that reinforce the fear. Clarity about our recipe for fear makes it easier to change it. Imagine the thing that triggers your phobia. In your mind’s eye, shrink that image, make it lose its colour, and let it play backward like a film reel running in reverse. This process helps in diminishing the image’s emotional impact.
Release the past by tapping
Identify the fear/event related to your phobia and hold it in your mind. Tap on the outer edge of your hand with the fingertips of the other, verbalising your fear and acceptance of yourself despite it. Proceed to tap lightly but firmly on the eyebrow, side of the eye, under the eye and nose, chin, collarbone, under the arm, and top of the head. Tapping each point about seven times, briefly state your fear to maintain focus. After a few rounds, introduce a positive reframing. For example, “I am open to feeling safe around dentists.”
Recondition your emotions
Responses to any fear-inducing stimuli are learnt behaviours that can be modified via emotional anchoring. Decide on the positive feeling you want and select a memory where you felt this positive emotion strongly. While immersed in this memory, do a simple gesture, like pressing your thumb and forefinger together. Repeat with other positive memories. Your chosen gesture becomes your anchor that takes you straight to a positive feeling. Every time you use your anchor and feel that positive emotion, you weaken the old fear response and strengthen the new, positive one.
Realise a powerful future
Part of your fears will be “what ifs”. For example, what if a spider jumps at you? We tackle “what ifs” by script flipping. Write down as many “what ifs” as you can, then replace each of them with a positive statement or question. For example, what if the spider quietly and quickly goes about its business? Take your new statements and questions and visualise them, pairing them with affirmations that reinforce your new narrative — perhaps “I am capable of feeling calm and in control around spiders.”
