Celebrity Secrets

Get loud for Valentine’s Day: What sex sounds and noises do people like?

Valentine’s Day has landed and celebs the world-over are busy filling their social media feeds with PDAs aplenty. For many, today means getting fruity with your other half  – but should you sound like a porn star or should you enjoy the silence when it comes to making some noise? Online dating site Saucy Dates has all the answers…

The site surveyed 5,024 members of its online dating networks to find what noises and words people liked to hear during sex. Get it right and it can improve your partner’s experience – but get it wrong and it’s a total turn off that ruins the moment!

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What was surprising, as well as encouraging, is that men and women liked the same sounds in the same order of preference. Brilliant, case closed, everyone likes the same!

However, how many people liked each sound between genders varied and therefore makes it more of a challenge, especially for the men.

What they say Men like Women like
Moan 90.5% 77.6%
Talk dirty 76.8% 73.5%
Heavy breathing 60.1% 45.9%
Scream 51.4% 36.2%
Swear 38.6% 31.2%
Squeak 27.9% 14.8%
Silence 8.3% 12.8%

So what do people like to hear?

The guys make it easy for the women. Over 90% of men like to hear moans. Just to be clear that’s ‘moans of passion’, not ‘you haven’t put the bins out again!’, whereas 77.6% of women like their men to moan.

Talk dirty
76.8% of men want to hear dirty talk vs 73.5% for women. It may be best to plan some key phrases in advance so you don’t have to come up with something on the spot. Cock it up and you both could end up laughing. This is certainly not easy to master but with 3 out of 4 people liking it, you should practice.

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Heavy breathing
Not a simple yes or no – 60.1% of men like it and only 45.9% of women. It may be best to start with light breathing and see if he or she reacts positively. Slow and steady!

Now things are getting more difficult to judge for the women, you have approximately a 50/50 chance that he will like you to scream. Men: at 36.2% you should probably not even consider screaming!

It’s interesting to see such a difference between swearing and talking dirty. This suggests that talking dirty should not include swear words. However, some swear words are likely to be acceptable especially at the point of orgasm.

At 27.9% for men and 14.8% for women, it’s best that no one squeaks. The only thing that should be squeaking is the bed – but even that can be off putting sometimes!

Silence is the only response where the women prefer it over the men, however it’s not very popular. It should be okay if you’re staying in the spare room at the in-laws, but other than that, it’s a no-no.

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Worst things to hear

The site also asked respondents the worst thing that someone has said during sex. We’ve combined all the responses to make a top 10 for each gender.

Worst things men hear
1. Saying the wrong name
2. “I need a poo”
3. “What’s the time?”
4. “Is that it?”
5. “Get it over as quickly as possible”
6. “Do you think your mum has ever tried this position?”
7. “What do you want for dinner tomorrow?”
8. “You remind me of my dad”
9. “You’re a bit small”
10. “What was your name again?”

Worst things women hear
1. Saying the wrong name
2. “I can’t do it”
3. “I’m going soft”
4. “Did you do this with your ex?”
5. “What’s your sister like?”
6. “What should I do next?”
7. “I don’t love you”
8. “I’m breaking up with you after this”
9. “Can I call you mum?”
10. “You’re almost as good as my ex”

Hopefully you can now feel a bit more confident when it comes to sex sounds and dirty talk. If you’re single, use your newfound knowledge with your next partner . However, it may be difficult if you’re in a relationship, as your current partner may question your sudden change of style. Why not show them this page and simply ask if they agree with the results?

Remember: it’s always good to talk about sex – as well as talk during sex!

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