Gone are the days of chatting at the school gate about sports days and who’s doing what when it comes to teacher gifts — these days WhatsApp is the go-to group. Frazzled by it all? Here are some dos and don’ts from Park Christmas Savings and family psychologist Dr Pam Spurr.
If you’ve ever opened your phone to find 87 unread messages about the class cake sale, you’re not alone. According to Park Christmas Savings’ research, nearly 40% of UK parents regret joining school WhatsApp groups, while more than a quarter say one over-eager ‘head girl’ and ‘head boy’ type parent tends to dominate the conversation. But despite the frustrations, a third of mums and dads still find the chats useful. So how can you keep your sanity intact without missing out on the essentials? The following advice is sure to help.
Do set boundaries early
At the start of term, suggest simple ground rules in the WhatsApp group. Stick to practical updates like trip reminders and key dates — not endless debates about wellies or trainers; as 3,500 parents found message overload was a major frustration, with many overwhelmed by late-night pings. Keeping conversations focused makes the group more helpful, reduces unnecessary noise, and means you can find the information you need when it matters.
Don’t be the ‘head’ girl or ‘head’ boy
We all know that parent: the one who replies to everything, sets the tone, and makes it feel like a committee meeting rather than a chat. Twenty six per cent of parents find these domineering personalities the most annoying part of group chats. Try not to take over or correct others constantly. Share useful info, then step back. WhatsApp isn’t a PTA boardroom. When everyone has space to speak, the group works better — and you’re less likely to become ‘that’ parent.
Do keep messages short and sweet
Nobody wants to scroll through paragraphs to find out what time pick-up is. Lead with the key detail first — such as 3.15pm — then add context if needed. Short messages avoid confusion and make it easier for everyone to keep up, especially parents juggling work and family. Overlong messages create more questions than they answer. When everyone keeps things brief and clear, there’s less drama, fewer misunderstandings and more chance people read the updates.
Don’t overshare
The group isn’t your diary or therapy space. Oversharing personal stories or passive-aggressive rants can make others uncomfortable. Keep it relevant to school life: trips, events, and reminders. Emotional venting belongs in private chats with friends, not in a group of parents. Too much information can also clutter the feed, making it harder for people to find practical updates. Keep things relevant and to the point, and the group will remain useful rather than overwhelming.
Do mute strategically
Muting the chat outside school hours isn’t rude but smart: constant notifications for parents surveyed was a top reason for regretting joining. By controlling when you check messages, you stop the chat from controlling you. It’s easier to catch up once or twice a day than deal with pings during dinner or work. Muting also removes the pressure to respond instantly, which can be a big stress trigger. Taking charge of your notification settings is a simple way to protect your headspace.
Don’t pile on the pressure
Not every parent can bake, volunteer, or attend every event, and that’s OK. Avoid language that guilts or pressures others to get involved. A friendly ‘no worries if not’ makes a big difference to how inclusive the chat feels. When parents feel judged, they’re more likely to mute or leave entirely. The goal of the group is to make life easier, not turn it into a competition. A supportive tone helps keep everyone on board.
Do be kind (even when others aren’t)
Politeness goes a long way. A quick ‘thanks!’ or a friendly emoji can ease tension if the chat gets heated. If someone is being bossy, staying calm keeps the atmosphere balanced. Be polite but firm, and remember you can mute, lock, archive or even leave if needed. Most parents just want to get through the week. Kindness keeps things light, cooperative, and focused on what really matters: the kids.
Don’t be afraid to leave
If the group has become a daily stress bomb, it’s fine to step away: almost four in 10 say they’ve regretted joining the school chat. A simple ‘thanks everyone, I’ll get updates through school comms from now on’ is polite and clear. Leaving isn’t rude — it’s setting a healthy boundary. Many parents find life quieter — and calmer — once they reduce their digital noise. Remember: protecting your headspace is a form of self-care.
